she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
I love how my cats smell like pot.
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
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