I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
Randomize
