You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
The struggles of a small town man whore
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
That was before I lit my hair on fire
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