Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
Randomize
