The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Randomize
