I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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