Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
