That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
Randomize
