people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
I will be naked everywhere
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
Randomize
