Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
