I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
hi, I love you... and I'm sorry your floor is covered in popcorn, your cabinet is broken, all your alcohol is gone, you're 80 dollars poorer, everything in your bedside table is soaked in beer, austin slept in your bed in those disgusting underwear, I made out with your toilet seat, and for talking to your mom with a four loko in my hand
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
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