physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
Randomize
