I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
Randomize
