I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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