yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize
