I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
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