im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
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