Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
Randomize
