My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
Randomize
