So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
Randomize
