Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
two words...techno handjob
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
Randomize
