I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
