this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Randomize
