Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
