Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
I booty called her while she was in labor.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
Randomize
