Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
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