Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
Randomize
