he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Randomize