when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
Randomize