3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
Randomize
