I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
Houston, we have a squirter
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Randomize
