four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
