and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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