I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
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