It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Randomize
