I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
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