Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
Blood and glitter go together right?
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
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