and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
I molested 6 butterflies tonight
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize