when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
he told me I talked like a deaf person
I love having hate sex.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
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