i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
Randomize
