Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
Randomize
