dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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