you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Randomize
