She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
not ubering you a puppy
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Randomize
