I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
Randomize