When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
Randomize
