You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
It's no shave November. This is our time.
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
Randomize
