Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
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