Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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