the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
