I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
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