Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
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