I want to have your abortion
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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