i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
Randomize
