Fuck u you updated twitter but didn't answer my text
I know you're alive
can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
Randomize