Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
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