Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize
