Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
P.S. I can't hear my feet
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Randomize
