I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
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