Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
So, my ex just showed me the drunk voicemail we left him last night. Started out with me saying "I think it's Shane." Then you took my phone and started singing a song about peanut butter, train tracks, and tequila. I joined in. On the upside, he said he's totally fine with being on the drunk dial list from now on. Soooo, another tequila night??
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
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