Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
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